Last November I was working on a project, writing a book that displeased the Lord. I would find excuses for it. I had unwittingly allowed a terrible spirit in my life; perhaps, it was a final journey that would refine me for the days to come.
Suddenly, in my self-adulation, gleeful at the prospects of this ignoble book I was penning, my heart began to race . It was the launch of a tachycardia event and frankly, God had lifted his hands off of me; but, He was in control as you will discover.
My heart had began racing and knowing the urgency of this condition, I ran to my neighbor’s house for help. It is difficult to do anything and you have little time to survive such a event without emergency protocols. It was a Thursday; my neighbor was never home on a Thursday. She brought me in her house and laid me on her couch. I knew my time was short; so, I confessed the book I was writing and how unhappy the Lord was with me, tears streaming down my face for my sin. I asked the Lord for forgiveness. A few other friends were summoned to our help. I gave final words for my children to them quite convinced these were my final moments. As the colour drained from my face and strength from my body, my friends agreed to call an ambulance; by the time it arrived my heart rate was above 200 beats per minute. A former physician had warned me that I had under 5 minutes to get to a hospital and receive live-saving protocol to slow your heart; the alternative was a stroke or a heart attack. An hour had already passed.
As I arrived at the hospital, no time was wasted, the doctor said, “You are going to die Marie [if we don’t shock your heart]”. There is always a chance your heart will not start again, I discovered in my queries. You could hear a pin drop in the emergency ward. I did not agree to the protocol, wishing to try and stop my heart myself by pushing the blood into my head with muscle contractions and pressing on my carotid artery. You could cut the air with a knife. I looked back at the heart monitor, and my heart was beating at 233 beats per minute. Looking back, it was a miracle that I had not collapsed. God’s hands were on me, waiting for what I had not yet promised.
They left me alone, unable to do anything for me without my permission. I looked up to the Lord from my bed and promised not to write the book and throw out the few pages I had already written when I returned home. The heart monitor dropped to 91 beats per minute. My stubbornness had brought me to the brink of life. I knew then that my commitment to Him, to His righteousness, to the Law of His Kingdom, had no if, ands or buts. It was to become my last transgression. The Lord was merciful knowing my soul intimately, the foul spirit that had afflicted me and the path He had for me.
The Lord is in control of all things at all times. His mercy and love for His children is great. He had great plans for me and knew this would be a lesson that would return me to obedience and great faith.
And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments.
Behold now, thy servant hath found grace in thy sight, and thou hast magnified thy mercy, which thou hast shewed unto me in saving my life; and I cannot escape to the mountain, lest some evil take me, and I die: